Assalamualaikum dah salam sejahtera..
Hi.. How are you guys!!..
Have u ever thought that the drama that you always saw on tv might be true? Or have you ever thought that it might occur to you? One day that it’ll be happen to you? Yes it is true..
For 24 years, macam macam dah jadi.. I’ve been there, I’ve been here… This and that thing happened to me… Dad and mum passed away, mum’s re-married… Been to university… Bla bla bla..
Know about me? You know nothing..
My name? Surely you know… Originally from Sibu, born in Sibu, raised in so many places… I’ve been to Kapit, Spaoh, Matu, Sarikei, Sibu, Kuching… So many places, with a lot of memories… The bad one, the good one… Smiles
There’s a lot of things about life I haven’t got a chance to explore… (?_?)
But who’s counting… Masa aku budak budak, banyak tempat aku pergi… Kapit… Yup… tempat yang aku sendiri belum puas… Mestilah… Dah la aku masih budak budak. Ney nak ingat semua ya… The only thing that I know is, we live on this house… Atas bukit… That is the only thing that I remember. Aiyoo…
Me, Farid Hazwan bin Mohd Firdaus… the 2nd from six of us… Originally 6 plus 1 step sister… Being the oldest brother is quite hard… You know when there’s sibling rivalry, you don’t know who you want to side too… Nak sebelahkan nya tpk, kelak nya tok kecik hati pulak… Aish… So make don’t know ja la kan…
My life… My Journey… My story…
Kindergarten… In Spaoh… Masa tok la I got to know people, make new friends, enemy and I don’t know… Macam macam ragam manusia kan… Walaupun kita masih kecil lagi… I got new friend, best friend, Fadzilla Tawni when I was in Spaoh…. Then I meet Joe @ Izwan…. Then new friend lagi… Nani Hadzwani Salleh… But it didn’t last long because transfer… I mean I’m the one who’s transferred to new place…
New environment… New friend, new school, new everything… Owh my god, I hate this. It takes a week for me to make new friend. I’m not friendly, I’m not sociable. Me, I like to watch and observe.
I do make a lot of friend actually. But, there’s a lot of but why I have to just throw away some of them… it’s not me… It’s them… and sometime it’s me… Urm…
I love my friend so much… But I don’t them… Do my friend love me as much as I love them? Maybe di mulut say YES I DO LOVE YOU AS MY FRIEND.. But deep inside who knows right . Aku nda la maksudkan semua ya. Cuma segelintir. Siapa dudok tepi toilet nya la yang cium bau najis ya.
I’m not the types who like to bully people around me. Tapi masa aku tinggal di Matu, di Sarikei, aku tok memang mangsa buli. Bila terkenang balik hal tok, darah aku memang naik… Try putting yourself being victims for the bullies. Kitak orang rasa la sakit hati nya, when your boiling point dah ting ting ting… There’s one time when I’ve lost my tempered, I fight back. Wow..!! Never thought I’d do that. But, I’m the one being blamed and accuse for bullying other students. But I don’t care.
Back in Sarikei, this is when all the tragic things start to happen. My father was examined and the result scared me to death. Colon cancer, can you believe that? Owh my owh my owh my…
Tears coming down my pipi….
Aku and U’un eskep sekolah about 2 or 3 month sebab jaga bapa.. And dah dimaklum juak dengan pihak sekolak why kmk orang sik pergi sekolah… End of the day, me and Uun di dismisskan dari sekolah ya.. Bengong palak aku ngan Uun.. and kakak.. Ai yoo… Last last, last options, pindah sekolah lagi, benda paling aku sik suka..
Sibu… My hometown. Mula sekolah di SMB Methodist pertengahan tahun. Form 4. Surprisingly, I make new friend within a day. Wow… but most of them are non-Muslim.. I don’t care… And the weird thing happen bila aku ditempatkan di kelas where all students not a single one them are Muslim. They are Chinese and Iban… and I’m the only Melanau in this class and the only Muslim. Hahaha… But two weeks later, baru la aku di tukar kelas. Tapi kekok. Because kena cari kawan lagi… Haish… In this new class, aku ada lah kawan dengan several yang benar benar rapat dengan aku but in the end… Still aku juak yang kenak blame bila kmk orang dah sik berkawan… Sebab mulut sorang perempuan tok, aku and kawan kawan aku dah nda bertegur lagi… till now… Sik apa lah… Ni gaya nak… Mulut orang… Lain yang aku tanya nya, lain yang nya cerita dengan kawan aku… Aku terkejut, aku sedih, aku marah… why she did that thing? Bodoh eh… Sabar jak la aku… Tok la di kata orang, friend became enemy and your enemy became your very best and loyal friend.. Sibu…
New chapters in life...
Sibu, my dad passed away… My mum passed away… We had to go and live our life…. Life must go on… Step father buat hal… and here in Sibu also aku mula benci gilak dengan polis... My step father buat fitnah, nak bunuh aku… Aku report dengan polis, and you know what kata polis ya? That’s not my problem… Sik celaka apa nama polis gya.. bagus ko quit jak jadi polis… Aku pun sik tau… Why they back him so tight… Nya ajak betul… Dah la anak nya kamek orang jaga. Tapi nya file pulak police report reported that we kidnap his child.. Rubbish Arabian… And the police? Tiba tiba dating rumah my cousin padah apa ‘ala dah anak dia, bagi je la… ‘ Amboi senang jak ko cakap… Apa apa jadi dengan my step sister, sampai 7 keturunan cdak polis ya hidup melarat…. Ya sumpah aku.. Aku sik suka. Jangan ambush mengejut kat rumah without any evidence la… Maka ktk orang ya polis.. Tok aku mok tanya sket… Kalu benar la kmk orang tok kidnap our own baby step sister, then why C Waguih yang babi ya hantar supply baby milk, baby diapers ngan kmk orang every month? Kalu kmk orang kidnap, nya sik perlu hantar semua ya.. Kmk orang dapat gik beli kedirik.
Ok, now Norullah, our baby step sister MIA. Nda tau lagi ku mana mau cari.
This life is full of surprise, heartache, joy and sorrow… But mine, full with thing yang menyakitkan hati..
My mum passed away when she was on holiday with Waguih in Bali… Surprise… Aku nak nangis pun dah nda larat lagi. Aku Cuma terdiam bila dengar mak dah sik da. But aku nangis juak… Sebab aku tengok kakak… Tengok Uun, Baie and Eim.. and aku nangis sebab aku kesiankan Izzati… Kmk orang yang lain tok boleh dikatakan bertuah… we’re lucky because when we grow, our mum and dad are still there for us… but Izzati? Owh my my… Dad passed away when mum still pregnant Izzati.. 6 bulan… She doesn’t know who’s our dad is… Then mum go and leave her… I promise to take care of her… after the death of my mum, I’ve became very protective when it came to my bro’s and sis’s. Aku sik suka orang cari pasal dengan adik adik aku.. You mess with them, you mess with me.
There’s a time, I asked Izzati about mum. I ask her, “Izzati mok balik Sibu dengan abang Boy sik?” and she answered me “ Mak kan dah meninggalkan dunia..” I turn my face and go somewhere else and I cried my heart out. She is so little but she’s understood in certain way that our mum is no longer here…
More drama and new chapter…
After finishing my dip, aku balik Sibu to take care of my two little brothers.. Baie and Eim. In Sibu, aku jadi rapat dengan Nurunnikmah Munir… My best friend till now… Kmk dua sama sama cari kerja di Sibu, go here and there looking for a job. In this time this new era modern lifestyle, I can’t be too picky when it came for a job. Dah ada kerja kira syukur lah. So me and Mah pergi la cari kerja cya ctok here and there.. Aku dah nak give up till one of my friend tell me Guardian tengah cari orang kerja.. So aku ngan Mah pun pergi la apply kerja kat cya the same position and the same place. She’s lucky. She got the job. I’m happy for her and pity me. I didn’t do well but 3 days of week later, they offer me a job. At the same place but different post. I accept it without questioning… I need this job. Masa kerja kat Guardian, I learn a lot. Ragam manusia, peel gila, orang rasa kacak, kejar kejar pencuri, and bla blab la… it is fun sebab kawan sama kerja tok semua ok. I enjoy it tapi aku kerja kat Guardian nda lama.. When aku di panggil for interview to my current job right now.. So bye bye Guardian, hello new job….
When I got this job… I had to sacrifice everything. I had to leave my brother’s Baie and Eim all by themselves… Aku rasa bersalah gilak sampai hari tok sebab kerja tok, aku terpaksa tinggalkan cdak dua, Baie and Eim tinggal kedirik… I hate myself for that. Ney gik kerja tok, berapa kali kah aku minta Sibu sebab aku mk jaga adik adik aku, sik mau juak nya bagi. When I got tempat yang aku kerja sekarang aku terkedu… Sik ada ayat keluar dari mulut aku selain owh my my… jauh nya… How am I’m going to explain to my bro’s that I’m not going back there to live with you guys? (T_T) I’m so sorry… and di ctok pun aku banyak belajar how to be independent. Tinggal sorang sorang… Alone… lonely… other feeling aku nda tau gney mau describe.. Ummm…
Ok.. A week in Kuching after interview... Stay kat Rajah Court Hotel… We’re been tortured, di ajar how to kawad and this and that… The best part, I’ve meet new people new friend…
A week in Rajah Court, so many thing happen. Dibotakkan, dikawadkan, nyelamat kawan dari lemas kat swimming pool… Hehehe.. tapi aku sik pernah lupa dengan adik adik ku… dengan orang yang aku sayang…
Kalu aku nak taip semua kisah hidup aku tok, memang sik akan muat…. Tapi masa di Rajah Court, terkenang aku dengan kawan kawan masa aku study dolok…. Kawan kawan, ktk orang ingat sik dengan aku? I miss you all so much… Di ctok aku jumpa banyak lagi orang yang tau app kawan…
to be continue...
